All aboard the… mentorship!

While brainstorming about this blog (or, as one of my dear friends would say, doing my pre-writing), I realized that I’m a teenager in my career! I now can say that I have 13 years of experience in the public relations and communications field. OMG!

In that time, I’ve had the honor of mentoring several budding writers and communicators, truly enjoying my role as coach, supporter, and cheerleader. I’ve also had the opportunity to receive mentorship from many peers and role models that has enabled me to learn and grow, especially through difficult times, along the way.

With Google, and now AI, we have instantaneous access to an insane amount of information. There are incredible resources at our fingertips which means we can find a lot of career and even personal advice in seconds. And it probably isn’t that bad! In a world that’s increasingly digital, automated, and based so often on speed and convenience, I’m worried about the quality of mentorship. Or, perhaps, I think some folks may need a gentle reminder of what it’s all about.

I believe mentorship should be about slowing down and truly connecting with one another. Based on that anchoring belief, here are the best practices I’ve learned or used throughout my 13-year-old career. All aboard the… mentorship!

Give your time and get offline (if possible).

Conversations are much better had in person or on a phone call. And that’s coming from an introvert, ok?

When I was in college, my dad connected me with one of his colleagues, and she became my Life Coach. I still remember our first phone call. I was incredibly nervous because my dad had told me all about her successful career and charisma, she seemed like such a big personality. I called her at the time that we agreed to chat and she answered the phone, without saying “hello,” and instead said, “You’re punctual. I love that. So, how can I help you?”

It was smooth sailing from there. Why? Because connecting over the phone has benefits, like not worrying about what you look like or needing to maintain eye contact. So, the initial intimidation was quickly subsided when she started the call in a blunt and friendly way. I should mention, too, that it wasn’t practical for us to meet in person. We both simply showed up to each call, gave our attention and presence to one another, and it was easy.

Whether you’re the mentor or the mentee, give your time for an in-person meeting or phone call. That means: set aside time on your calendar where you can give your full attention to the conversation. Do not multitask; it’s rude and not good for your brain. Show up, be punctual, be prepared, be present—and be yourself.

Don’t forget the GPS.

You’ll get lost without it! In conversation, GPS stands for Goals, Passions, Struggles. It might be obvious how these assist in steering the mentorship… but allow me to share anyway.

Goals usually come up naturally. Career goals, life goals, short-term or long-term, if your mentee doesn’t bring up their goals, you should be asking about them. (And then figuring out how and where you might be able to plug in to support.)

Passions are a great area to ask about to get to know mentees on a personal level. Understanding what floats their boat, how they like to spend their free time, what motivates them—it all opens the door for a stronger connection. If you know your mentee is on a mission to try every ramen restaurant in the area, for example, you can suggest meeting at a ramen place and bond over that experience.

Finally, struggles offer a direct way to ask what your mentee is going through. Be mindful not to swoop in and problem-solve, because your mentee may not want (or need) that. Sometimes just asking what they’re dealing with can make a difference.

If you ask questions about each of these areas every time you and your mentee meet, I’m sure there will be plenty to cover. BONUS: GPS goes both ways. Mentees most certainly can ask their mentors about these same topics.

Listen up, actively!

Does everyone know what active listening is? I remember practicing active listening in one of my marketing classes in college—but I’m guessing that’s not the norm!

Active listening is about truly hearing and understanding what someone else is telling you. So, it requires presence and attention; limited interruptions; usually some form of you saying, “what I’m hearing is…” and repeating things back to confirm and clarify; and asking open-ended questions.

Being a mentor is about helping your mentee with their problems; supporting them to achieve their goals; hearing their ideas. To do all of that, you’ve got to fully hear what they’re saying. I once had a mentor do exactly the opposite. They sent me a boatload of generic advice for something I didn’t ask for, and it was obvious that they had outsourced the job to AI!

Let me just say this: I think mentors these days might feel a pressure to keep up with Google or AI. They might feel that it’s necessary, or easier, to pump out an immediate response and move on with their day. But, to me, that’s not mentorship. Mentorship is about connection; it’s a relationship. That means it’s going to take time to slow down, fully listen, and help your mentee with whatever they need on their journey.

Make it personal, not artificial.

Building right off the previous tip, please don’t outsource your mentorship to AI. I know you can do better than that and your mentee deserves more than that.

Asking for help is intimidating and being a mentee can feel vulnerable. So, when you share your nuggets of wisdom, make it personal. Talking about how you faced the same struggle or a similar challenge, and explaining—or better yet, showing—how you overcame it signals that your mentee is not alone. You’re offering them a port during the storm… providing them with support, comfort, and inspiration.

I recently asked one of my role models for advice on how to get started with creative writing. Among other things, she told me to dress for the part. She compared it to cosplaying and said having a writing outfit helps her get in the zone and take it seriously. It becomes a dedicated part of her day if she has to show up in a certain outfit, ready for the creative endeavor. Seeing her passion for this small and personal tactic made me feel excited and less stuck about how to get started.

It’s ok to not have all the answers as a mentor too. It’s ok to pause and give it a thought. You may not have advice that goes well with what your mentee is dealing with—and that’s just fine. Please don’t turn to AI in that moment. Maybe, instead, you can be a connector and introduce your mentee to a colleague who could help with that specific topic. Maybe you can just listen and encourage them to keep trying. All of that is genuine support.

Stay in touch.

To keep things ship-shape, following up is involved. And here’s where I think our digital world offers an advantage. With email, texting, and social media, it’s easy to stay connected in between meetings or calls. This one goes both ways; mentors and mentees should be checking in with each other.

Mentors: You can follow up and ask for progress updates, check in on the GPS, or see what else the mentee might need help with. My hot take here is that open door policies sound nice but aren’t effective. Telling someone to “reach out anytime” puts the work on them and if they’re a mentee who is vulnerable or thinks they’re interrupting your busy schedule or feels like they’re just asking for your help all the time, it may never happen.

If you agreed to mentor, follow through and check in on your mentee. Set up regular, standing meetings on a cadence that makes sense for you both. Then, send pop-in texts, emails, or DMs to let them know you’re curious about how it’s all going.

Mentees: Reach out when you need help AND when you don’t. Of course, with specific questions or challenges, you’ll want to get your mentor’s input. But try not to only reach out in those times. Again, it’s a relationship and a connection. So, I’d also encourage you to reach out to hear how things are on their end. Ask about their life. Send them a card during the holidays or a handwritten thank you note. Find ways to stay in touch that feel authentic to you.

Looking for a mentor and align with my values?

Send me an email with the subject line “Let’s set sail” to chelsea@circulate-pr.com.